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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has copied:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

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787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

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13,921

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10,949

Updated

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Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Instagram:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Making waves on X:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Reported on Reddit:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Just shared via X:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Spotted on WeChat:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Shared recently on X:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Just shared via TikTok:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Reported on TikTok:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Just shared via YouTube:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.
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Commentary:
"Mr. Beast – the human embodiment of Dubai! πŸ’Έβœ¨ Just when you thought the extravagance couldn't get any bigger, here comes Mr. Beast shining brighter than the city lights! πŸ’°πŸŒ† #LivingLarge"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has downloaded:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing PokΓ©mon.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has copied:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has downloaded:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has copied:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has copied:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has copied:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has viewed:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has copied:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via YouTube:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Trending via Threads:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Breaking via X:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Just shared via Telegram:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Making waves on WeChat:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

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