Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,557

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Going viral on TikTok:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Going bananas on Threads:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Freshly posted on X:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Broadcasted on X:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Spotted on Slack:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Trending via Twitch:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Birthday boy/girl demands zero attention on their special day! 🚫🎉 Let's grant their wish by celebrating in absolute silence… or with the quietest party ever! 🎂🤫 Who needs cake when you have peace and quiet, am I right? 😂 #BirthdayWish #IntrovertCelebration"

birthday, celebration, everyone, humor, ignore, self-deprecation, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

22 shares on Slack this month:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

21 shares on Facebook this month:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

69 but we both just farting.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media may have been a mistake.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Just shared via YouTube:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Trending via Pinterest:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Making waves on Facebook:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

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