My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.