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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Making waves on TikTok:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Trending via Instagram:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Going viral on Slack:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Broadcasted on X:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Live now on Threads:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Going viral on Twitch:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

My brain is 80% song lyrics.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like my brain is stuck on the 'repeat' setting! 🎵🔄 Can someone please pass me the mental DJ to switch up the playlist? #EarwormParty"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on X this month:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Shared recently on Discord:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Just shared via Telegram:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Making waves on Telegram:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

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