Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.