My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

A selfie only a mother could like.

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Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

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We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”