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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,535

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Just landed via Discord:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Breaking news: Large vase measured in smithereens—a smashing success! 💥🤣

favorite, humor, measurement, smithereens, unit, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

0

2 months ago

animals, application, concern, confidence, cover, cover letter, humor, job, job application, letter, lion, workplace
People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

0

3 months ago

ask, class, eyes, humor, insane, money, people, privilege, question, ski, social, social class, something
The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

0

2 days ago

audio, beat, different, ear, funny observation, going, left, listening, music, observation, rhythm, right, sound, where
They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

0

2 months ago

battle, exercise, fitness, getting, getting in shape, gym, half, hard, humor, i, mental, mental battle, motivation, procrastination, say, shape, thought, today, workout
I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, existence, finds, hope, humor, i, irony, paradox, peace, philosophy, relative
The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

0

2 months ago

born, mess, place, right, right place, right time, tedious, time, trick

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

66 shares on X this month:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

80 shares on X this month:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Spotted on Discord:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Just landed via WeChat:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Just shared via Telegram:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Making waves on Reddit:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨