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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Spotted on X:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Spotted on Telegram:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Trending via WeChat:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Just shared via Telegram:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Humorous text highlighting a playful take on life's first blunder.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my life's GPS got stuck on 'recalculating' ever since! 🚼➡️🌀🤣

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

32 shares on Slack this month:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re so productive for your wage.

27 shares on X this month:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Just shared via Reddit:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Just landed via Discord:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Spotted on Reddit:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Spotted on Telegram:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Going bananas on Discord:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Just shared via Threads:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Making waves on Messenger:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

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