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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Going viral on X:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Just shared via X:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Just landed via WeChat:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Just landed via Instagram:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Trending via TikTok:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Trending via Instagram:

A Monday every week is excessive.

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's last straw got an extension! Who knew they were offering upgrades in exasperation these days?"

expectation, frustration, humor, last, limit, patience, perspective, straw, surprise, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

6 months ago

Asian, Asian parent, cultural, cultural stereotype, focus, give, humor, name, names, parent, parents, stereotype, study
I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

2 months ago

adventure, animal, Australia, before, boxing, challenge, eat, fight, humor, i, kangaroo, ring, should, sport, think, three
Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

2 months ago

appearance, fitness, going, good, gym, health, humor, i, just, motivation, naked, wellbeing
I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

2 months ago

annoying, cat, cats, compliment, humor, i, meow, personality, playful, sweet, think
I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

2 months ago

dying, house, humor, me, self-deprecation, sweet, sweets, thing
Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

2 months ago

camera, diet, driving, fasting, humor, intermittent, intermittent fasting, joke, speed, speed camera, traffic

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on WeChat this month:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

65 shares on Threads this month:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

69 shares on Threads this month:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Breaking via Instagram:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Trending via Snapchat:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Shared recently on Messenger:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Spotted on Discord:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨