Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Just landed via Reddit:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Making waves on Snapchat:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Making waves on Facebook:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Going viral on Instagram:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Shared recently on WeChat:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Trending via Telegram:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Trending via Slack:

How do I un-know people?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

5 days ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about patience and exhaustion with a playful twist.

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Commentary:
"Looks like someone's last straw got an extension! Who knew they were offering upgrades in exasperation these days?"

expectation, frustration, humor, last, limit, patience, perspective, straw, surprise, thought

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

50 shares on Threads this month:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

83 shares on Threads this month:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

48 shares on Slack this month:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

Making waves on WeChat:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Just landed via TikTok:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Broadcasted on Slack:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Spotted on YouTube:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Just landed via WeChat:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Just landed via Instagram:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

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Activity Log ✨

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨