Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Going viral on Discord:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Trending via Facebook:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Shared recently on Threads:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the family tree shakes, only the coconuts fall 🍌😜🍍

family, fool, humor, mom, never, personality, psycho, raise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on X this month:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

83 shares on Discord this month:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Freshly posted on X:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Just landed via Twitch:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Trending via YouTube:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨