Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Ah, just like a chaotic playlist, my mood is on "shuffle" too! 🎶 One minute I'm feeling like a peppy pop song and the next, a melancholic ballad. Life is full of unexpected tunes, isn't it? 🎵😄

emotions, humor, mood, music, randomness, shuffle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

0

2 months ago

bastards, creation, divine, existence, God, humor, i, irony, joke, never, religion, should
Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

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2 months ago

back, bored, boredom, flirting, humor, interaction, relationship, situation, situations, social, social interaction, unwanted, unwanted situation
Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

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2 months ago

40s, aging, humor, life, milestone, pounds, weight, welcome
If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

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2 months ago

conversation, humor, isolation, just, keep, management, me, meet, meeting, myself, self-employed, senior, talking, walking, work
How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

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2 months ago

allowed, bathroom, escape, family, hide, humor, time, visits
I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

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2 months ago

button, freeze, having, humor, i, issues, just, meetings, need, network, productivity, remote, remote work, screen, technology, where, work, Zoom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Breaking via Threads:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Just shared via Instagram:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Spotted on Messenger:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Freshly posted on X:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Just landed via Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨