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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Just landed via Reddit:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Shared recently on WeChat:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Trending via Reddit:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Just landed via X:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Trending via Telegram:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Spotted on Threads:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

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My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍷🍇 Oops, looks like someone's fruit intake may be lacking! Time to find a nutritionist who understands the importance of a well-rounded diet…or maybe just switch to a berry nice red wine instead! 😉🍓 #WineLover #HealthyEatingGoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

77 shares on Slack this month:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

77 shares on X this month:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I only drink when I people.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,227

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Making waves on Facebook:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Making waves on Instagram:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Trending via Threads:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Spotted on Reddit:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

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