Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

75 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,344

Funny Quotes Topics

17,462

Funny Quotes Images

15,344

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Live now on Twitch:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Just landed via TikTok:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Going viral on Discord:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Spotted on TikTok:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Live now on Slack:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I know why they call it a knotty subscription 🤣✨🔌

Christmas, Christmas light, holiday, hours, humor, just, light, lights, me, OnlyFans, untangling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

0

2 months ago

better, body, body confidence, confidence, humor, just, lighting, self-deprecating, summer, summer body, winter, winter body
If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

0

6 months ago

am, demise, escape, humor, i, plotting, quiet, sarcasm, threat, witty
Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

0

2 months ago

friend, humor, media, memory, nostalgia, relationship, Snapchat, social, social media
Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

0

2 months ago

activity, bad, bar, being, humor, limbo, means, raising, sport, where
TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

0

5 months ago

before, celebrity, celebrity news, dead, death, gossip, humor, media, news, reporting, rumor, TMZ
Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

0

2 months ago

4-year, 4-year old, attitude, Batman, cape, childhood, confidence, fun, humor, inspiration, old, playfulness, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Instagram this month:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

18 shares on Threads this month:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

59 shares on X this month:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Seen just now on X:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Spotted on Slack:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Just landed via YouTube:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨