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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Jan 7, 2026

3,234

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Just shared via Telegram:

How is it still this week?

Making waves on Facebook:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Spotted on Facebook:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Making waves on YouTube:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Going viral on Telegram:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Spreading quickly via X:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

2 months ago

0

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Approach with caution, my friend, my patience is like a mystery gift card – you never know when it's about to run out on you! 🕵️‍♂️💳 But hey, they do say curiosity is the spice of life, so let's give it a whirl and see if my patience surprises us both! 🎁😄"

card, frustration, gift, gift card, give, humor, left, limits, metaphor, much, patience, sure, try, uncertainty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

0

2 months ago

30, building, even, foot, height, humor, irony, just, nature, permit, regulation, tree
The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

0

2 months ago

broken, child, family, gaming, here, humor, i, live, noticed, observation, parenting, Playstation, too
Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

0

2 months ago

experience, humor, me, millennium, second, time, trust, wit
You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

0

2 months ago

birth, born, death, die, existence, honesty, humor, lie, life
Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

0

2 months ago

home, i, introvert, know, place, social
Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

0

5 months ago

better, computer, humor, lived, nostalgia, old, old times, only, own, privacy, room, sometimes, specific, technology, things, times

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Messenger this month:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

96 shares on X this month:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Going viral on X:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Making waves on Telegram:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Seen just now on Threads:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Broadcasted on X:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Just landed via X:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Spotted on Slack:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Just landed via Twitch:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

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