Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Going bananas on YouTube:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Live now on Pinterest:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Trending via Snapchat:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Shared recently on TikTok:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Shared recently on Discord:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Shared recently on Threads:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Just shared via Telegram:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

2 months ago

0

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Approach with caution, my friend, my patience is like a mystery gift card – you never know when it's about to run out on you! 🕵️‍♂️💳 But hey, they do say curiosity is the spice of life, so let's give it a whirl and see if my patience surprises us both! 🎁😄"

card, frustration, gift, gift card, give, humor, left, limits, metaphor, much, patience, sure, try, uncertainty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

0

2 months ago

advice, alert, caution, humor, kings, planet, relationship, remember, stay, stay alert, world
Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

0

2 months ago

age, back, days, gap, generational, generational gap, good, good old days, humor, nostalgia, old, people, perspective, too, young, youth
Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

0

2 months ago

badass, beach, everyone, fear, humor, leg, nature, reality, seaweed, surprise
Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

0

2 months ago

dating, different, end, fashion, having, humor, monogamous, multiple, partner, relationship, single, socks, try, variety
You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

0

4 months ago

acting, again, beginning, behavior, change, dating, enjoy, humor, man, meet, never, personality, relationship
“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

0

2 months ago

40, back pain, dream, earworm, music

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Threads this month:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

57 shares on Threads this month:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

100 shares on TikTok this month:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

83 shares on Slack this month:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Making waves on Messenger:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Shared recently on X:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Breaking via YouTube:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Trending via Slack:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴