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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Just shared via X:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Just shared via X:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Trending via Telegram:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

1 month ago

Playful quote about body humor, imagining muscles begging to stretch with a funny vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between our lazy bodies and the demand for stretching – the ultimate melodrama of the muscles! 💪😂 It's like our limbs have a mind of their own, asking for that extra bit of length as if they're auditioning for a role in a yoga class! 😆 #StretchingDrama"

activity, body, humor, longer, me, physical, physical activity, self-care, stretch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on YouTube this month:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can resist everything except temptation.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

48 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Seen just now on Slack:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Going bananas on X:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Spotted on Discord:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Making waves on Messenger:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Making waves on Twitch:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Trending via Messenger:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

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