Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Just shared via Facebook:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Making waves on Instagram:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Trending via TikTok:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Trending via Discord:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Normalize booing in the workplace.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I can't wait to bring my foam finger and popcorn to the next staff meeting 🍿👎😂

booing, culture, humor, norm, normalize, office, office culture, social, social norm, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

0

2 hours ago

absolutely, amount, days, doing, doing nothing, done, i, laziness, love, nothing, over, past, relaxation, rest, sleeping
Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, double, drink, end, forget, humor, me, memory, relationship, seeing
Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

0

2 months ago

ask, exercise, fitness, humor, me, most, people, question, questions, sarcasm, shoulder, shoulder workout, shrug, workout
If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

0

2 months ago

advice, bedtime, drinking, humor, hydration, kids, parenting, tell, water
My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

0

2 months ago

always, bathroom, concert, hold, humor, i, long shower, performance, procrastination, routine, shower, showers, singing, take
Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

0

2 months ago

babe, back, cat, communication, humor, kill, meow, partner, pet, pet humor, playful, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

32 shares on X this month:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

58 shares on X this month:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Seen just now on Slack:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Trending via Facebook:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Spotted on Messenger:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Making waves on TikTok:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Making waves on TikTok:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Seen just now on YouTube:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨