Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Making waves on Instagram:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Going bananas on Threads:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Seen just now on TikTok:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Going viral on WeChat:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Seen just now on Threads:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

1 month ago

Clever and humorous text highlighting social media struggles for WhatsApp status.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Feeling like the middle child of social media 🤷‍♂️ Stranded in the land of WhatsApp status, where our posts quietly whisper 'I'm here too, guys!' 😅 Maybe we're just too cool for the other platforms? 😎 #WhatsAppWarrior"

comparison, humor, Instagram, media, pretty, self-deprecation, social, social media, status, Twitter, welcome, WhatsApp

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

27 shares on Threads this month:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

Spotted on Telegram:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Just shared via Threads:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Just landed via YouTube:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Going viral on Telegram:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴