Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.
  • If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?
  • What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?
  • The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.
  • I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.