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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Going viral on YouTube:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Live now on TikTok:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Going viral on Reddit:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Just landed via Discord:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Making waves on YouTube:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I think God was high when he made me.

Making waves on Facebook:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

2 weeks ago

Clever and humorous text highlighting social media struggles for WhatsApp status.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Feeling like the middle child of social media 🤷‍♂️ Stranded in the land of WhatsApp status, where our posts quietly whisper 'I'm here too, guys!' 😅 Maybe we're just too cool for the other platforms? 😎 #WhatsAppWarrior"

comparison, humor, Instagram, media, pretty, self-deprecation, social, social media, status, Twitter, welcome, WhatsApp

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Threads this month:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

46 shares on Slack this month:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Live, laugh, leftovers.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Trending via Threads:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Trending via Discord:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Shared recently on X:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Breaking via YouTube:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Live now on Telegram:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Spotted on Discord:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

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