Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,375

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Making waves on TikTok:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Shared recently on Slack:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Just shared via Pinterest:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs meditation when you've mastered the art of automatic mind-blanking on demand? 🧘‍♂️🗺️ #DirectionallyChallenged"

blank, brag, confusion, directions, humor, i, me, meditation, mind, navigation, need, second, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

0

2 months ago

fitness, girlfriend, gym, humor, irony, joke, rat, relationship
Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

0

5 months ago

attitude, behavior, different, disrespect, ever, i, men, relationship
I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

0

3 months ago

anxiety, brain, humor, i, just, overthink, overthinking, relax, stress
Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

0

2 months ago

backyard, body, cops, crime, dark, dark humor, deception, digging, ever, guy, humor, police, reputation, sarcasm
Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

0

2 months ago

again, amusing, amusing moment, board, cover, everyday, everyday life, household, humor, i, irony, irony joke, joke, laughter, life, moment, noticed, today, word
The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

0

2 months ago

better, clean, clutter, echo, house, humor, irony, order, organization, stuff, unsettling

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Threads this month:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

10 shares on Discord this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

14 shares on Facebook this month:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Spotted on Reddit:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Spotted on Threads:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Seen just now on Discord:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Just landed via TikTok:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Trending via Messenger:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Just shared via Discord:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Spotted on X:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Freshly posted on X:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨