Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.