Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Breaking via Threads:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Spotted on Instagram:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Spotted on YouTube:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

Trending via Snapchat:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Going bananas on Threads:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Making waves on WeChat:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Making waves on Reddit:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your sweatpants start falling apart, it's officially a wardrobe tragedy of epic proportions 😱🩳💔

apart, begin, clothing, comfort, fall, falling, falling apart, favorite, humor, nothing, preparation, relatability, sweatpant, sweatpants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

2 months ago

Bigfoot, hiding, human, humans, humor, i, nature, right, solitude, stay, think
I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

2 months ago

E, extra, humor, i, letter, much, music, time, typing, Weeknd, wonder
I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

2 months ago

always, craving, disappointment, eating, food, humor, meal, over, sad, sandwich
Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

2 months ago

anything, arguing, argument, family, humor, kid, kids, love, much, sibling
When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

2 months ago

drain, energy, energy drain, fat, fatigue, humor, humor quote, life, motivation, people, sarcasm, self-care, should, suck, take, too, witty
My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

2 months ago

animation, appreciation, cartoons, childhood, classical, classical music, humor, i, jerry, kid, music, music appreciation, pizza, real, sadism, tom, Tom & Jerry, Tom and Jerry, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I put the hot in psychotic.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

92 shares on Discord this month:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Going viral on WeChat:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Making waves on Telegram:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Just landed via Instagram:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Spotted on Telegram:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨