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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Going viral on TikTok:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Spotted on Discord:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Going viral on Facebook:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Breaking via YouTube:

The future is buffering.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Seen just now on WeChat:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

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“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.
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Commentary:
"Oh, the classic 'polite decline' dance! 💃 Translation: Let's just call a spade a spade, shall we? 🃏😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

13 shares on Instagram this month:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Spotted on Snapchat:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Breaking via Slack:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

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