Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Live now on Telegram:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Just landed via Telegram:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Shared recently on YouTube:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Live now on Instagram:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Trending via Pinterest:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Back in my day, we had to walk uphill both ways to cheat… and AI stood for 'Almost Impossible' 🤓📚

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

27 shares on Threads this month:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

58 shares on Slack this month:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

30 shares on Slack this month:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,558

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Spotted on WeChat:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Spotted on Reddit:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Making waves on X:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Shared recently on WeChat:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

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