Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Making waves on X:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Spotted on Twitch:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Making waves on YouTube:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Spotted on WeChat:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Witty quote about mistaken sunburn for volcanic swim aftermath, humorous and playful.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wow, someone's been getting ready for their lava-themed photoshoot! 🔥🌋 Remember, it's all fun and games until you start erupting! 😏"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Threads this month:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

46 shares on Discord this month:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

The only thing that could possibly put a smile on my face is a Sharpie.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

37 shares on X this month:

At least life has music.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

The shitshow must go on.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Just shared via Slack:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Live now on Messenger:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Spotted on Twitch:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Trending via Reddit:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Spotted on Threads:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

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