“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.