Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,799

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Trending via Facebook:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Making waves on Discord:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Shared recently on X:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Just shared via Discord:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Just shared via X:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wow, someone's been getting ready for their lava-themed photoshoot! 🔥🌋 Remember, it's all fun and games until you start erupting! 😏"

appearance, compliment, funny observation, humor, observation, sarcasm, sun, swimming, translation, volcano

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

0

2 months ago

commentary, eat, encouragement, food, humor, rich, satire, social, social commentary
Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

0

2 months ago

communication, connection, dating, distance, humor, long distance, love, relationship, relationships, truly, trust, work
I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

0

2 months ago

attendees, band, barenaked, Barenaked Lady, before, bet, concerts, disappointment, expectations, humor, i, lady, lot, music, pissed, popularity
How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

0

2 months ago

boss, dare, early, humor, i, meeting, set, sneak, time, work
Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

0

3 months ago

addiction, analogy, app, cigarette, habit, humor, lighting, opening
The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

0

2 months ago

creativity, culture, Eminem, fan, fans, humor, i, joke, language, music, obsession, parody, pop, pop culture, saying, song, word, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Threads this month:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

30 shares on Twitch this month:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Trending via WeChat:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Trending via WhatsApp:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Live now on Snapchat:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Going viral on Discord:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨