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Commentary:
"Breaking news: local hero ditches work to embrace feeling good 😎✨ Who needs a sick day when you can have a 'feeling awesome day' instead?! 🙌🏼 #WorkGoals #PrioritizeWellness"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

1 month ago

better, hear, house, humor, i, parking, parking spot, radio, someone, spot, sunglasses, take, turn
It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

1 month ago

amazing, attitude, both, cat, cats, ears, humor, ignore, ignoring, pet
The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

5 months ago

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I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

1 month ago

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I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

1 month ago

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I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

1 month ago

daily, daily life, everything, humor, i, just, life, procrastination, stress, thinking, tired

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Going viral on X:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Just shared via X:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

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Activity Log ✨

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

That awkward moment between birth and death.

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

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People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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