Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Breaking news: local hero ditches work to embrace feeling good 😎✨ Who needs a sick day when you can have a 'feeling awesome day' instead?! 🙌🏼 #WorkGoals #PrioritizeWellness"

able, being, call, coming, feel, feel good, good, healthy, humor, i, office, people, productivity, should, time, time off, today, want, waste, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

0

2 months ago

always, distant, distant family member, family, growing, growing up, humor, i, identity, member
Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

0

4 months ago

doing, driving, frustration, green, humor, joke, patience, sat, sign, stop, stop sign, today, traffic, turn, waiting, wondering
The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

0

5 months ago

entertainment, humor, i, issue, issues, list, Netflix, recommendation, streaming, trust, trust issue, why
Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

0

1 month ago

Chinese, Chinese takeout, depressing, eating, expectation, expectation vs reality, food, good, humor, movie, never, reality, takeout, vs
Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

0

2 months ago

asked, baby, coworker, hold, humor, i, me, new, prepared, question, saying, today, unexpected, wanted
I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

0

2 months ago

bonus, bonus features, brevity, communication, features, humor, i, irony, punchline, say, short, story, storytelling, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

45 shares on Discord this month:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

45 shares on Threads this month:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Live now on YouTube:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Shared recently on Threads:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Just shared via Telegram:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨