Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,620

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Just landed via WeChat:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Seen just now on Discord:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
The floor was nice, but this chair feels like a VIP upgrade! 😂🪑🎉

clarity, hindsight, humor, i, post-standing, post-standing clarity, self-reflection, sitting, standing, time, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

0

2 months ago

activity, appreciate, fun, fun activity, humor, only, planking, social, social trend, time, trend
Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, chasing, fitness, humor, ice cream, just, running, someone, truck
Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

0

2 weeks ago

avoid, cold, hack, house, leaving, never, staying, staying in, winter
Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

0

2 months ago

being, crazy, depressed, depression, effect, fat, gain, health, help, humor, just, medication, mental, mental health, oh, pill, psychiatry, side, side effect, weight, weight gain
Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

0

2 months ago

activity, disappointment, event, exercise, expectation, fun, fun activity, going, humor, i, irony, nothing, park, Park Run, run, running, turn, worse
I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

0

1 month ago

annoying, conflict, humor, i, interaction, just, let, me, nice, people, personality, social, social interaction, struggle, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

42 shares on Slack this month:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Going bananas on Discord:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Live now on Facebook:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Freshly posted on Discord:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Making waves on Telegram:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨