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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,632

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Trending via WhatsApp:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Seen just now on Threads:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Breaking via Telegram:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Just landed via Twitch:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Here's a refreshing dose of stress on the rocks! 🧊😅🍹

anxiety, drink, glass, humor, ice-cold, pouring, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

0

5 months ago

awkward, birthday, hate, i, media, notification, social, social media, story, view
Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, coping, drink, feeling, humor, irony, melancholy, much, self-deprecation, things, think, worse
I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

0

2 months ago

aging, aging process, am, avoiding, avoiding sunlight, being, costs, dark, dark humor, fine, humor, i, place, process, sarcasm, saying, self-deprecating, storage, sunlight, wine
Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

0

2 months ago

better, buy, came, castle, differences, everyone, humor, imagine, me, much, set, together, unity, world
If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

0

2 months ago

bear, ever, fight, gummy, hope, humor, i, joke, wish
To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

0

2 months ago

gratitude, guy, humor, inventor, joke, math, nothing, thanks, zero

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

35 shares on Discord this month:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

48 shares on Discord this month:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Spotted on YouTube:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Just shared via TikTok:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Making waves on Slack:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Going viral on YouTube:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Just landed via Discord:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Spotted on Reddit:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨