Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Just shared via Instagram:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Spotted on WeChat:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Breaking via Messenger:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Trending via Threads:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Trending via YouTube:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Adulting Level: Master… of Naps and Coffee Breaks! ☕😴😂

adult, exhausting, exhaustion, functioning, humor, life, life struggle, pretending, struggle, well-adjusted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Are you a software update, because not now!

0

2 months ago

dating, humor, not now, procrastination, software, software update, technology, update
Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, confused, extraterrestrial, help, humor, invasion, leaders, offer, overthrow, reaction, show, stoked, super
Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

0

2 months ago

advice, ask, career, going, humor, job, just, me, quit, quitting, quitting job, sarcasm, tell, work, work advice, workplace
Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

0

2 months ago

bot, humor, murder, prove, solve
Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

0

2 months ago

cure, depression, financial, financial freedom, freedom, happiness, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, million, money, thing, wealth
Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

0

5 months ago

exaggeration, fruit, giving, humor, lemon, lemons, life, me, situation, throwing, unexpected, unexpected situation, watermelon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

13 shares on TikTok this month:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Breaking via Telegram:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Breaking via Discord:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Breaking via Slack:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Just shared via Discord:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Are you a software update, because not now!

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨