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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Shared recently on X:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Live now on Discord:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Just shared via Facebook:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

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Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.
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Commentary:
Oh, Problems are like balls 🏀⚽️! Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you… 🙄 But hey, it's all about how you handle tossing them around, right? Keep juggling those challenges like a pro! 💪😄 #ProblemSolvingChampion

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Half princess, half menace.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

33 shares on Discord this month:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Just landed via Reddit:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Just landed via WeChat:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Breaking via Instagram:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Going viral on Facebook:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Just shared via Twitch:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

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