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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,959

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Trending via Reddit:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Breaking via Telegram:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Spotted on Threads:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Yearning: the only workout where the heart *and* the imagination get a cramp! 💔🤔

actually, fun, humor, irony, know, real, yearner, yearning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

2 months ago
allowed, cicada, feels, frustration, humor, i, just, nature, relaxation, scream, should, sit, tree
Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

4 months ago
air, air fryer, brew, bro, Caesar, caesar salad, cold, cold brew, food, food trend, found, fryer, healthy, healthy food, high protein, i, Instagram, media, oats, overnight, overnight oats, recipe, salad, social, social media, trend, trendy, trendy food, try
When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

1 month ago
achievement, adventure, ambition, death, die, everest, humor, i, irony, looks, me, mount, Mount Everest, something, throw, trying
You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

1 month ago
advice, breakup, broke, couple, Google, humor, relationship, should
One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

2 months ago
30, adulthood, age, celery, day, diet, eating, food, humor, kale, lunch, pizza, salad
Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

4 months ago
2, car, driving, gangsta’s, Gangsta’s Paradise, hand, hand position, hands, home, humor, listening, music, nostalgia, paradise, position, road, road safety, safety, song

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Breaking via Facebook:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Going bananas on Discord:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Just landed via Instagram:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Making waves on Twitch:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Going bananas on Discord:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Spotted on YouTube:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

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Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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