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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Just shared via Reddit:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Live now on X:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Trending via YouTube:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Going viral on X:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

1 month ago

Humorous quote about childhood innocence and reckless desire to grow up quickly.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, those carefree days of yore when we couldn't wait to be adults, only to realize that bills and responsibility were major buzzkills 🤦‍♂️🙈 Who needs naptime and recess when you can have taxes and deadlines, right? #AdultingFail

childhood, everything, grow, grow up, humor, innocence, kids, memory, nostalgia, remember, stupid, stupidity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

62 shares on X this month:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

97 shares on Slack this month:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They should name a personality disorder after me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Making waves on Slack:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Making waves on Facebook:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Spotted on YouTube:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Just shared via TikTok:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Making waves on Slack:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Spotted on Telegram:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

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