Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Santa baby, forget the fancy gifts, just give me some mental stability this year! 🎅🧠 Oh, what a merry and mentally sound Christmas it would be! 🎄😄 #Priorities"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

3 weeks ago

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I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

3 weeks ago

humor, i, ice, joke, let, mention, never, people, prank, sarcasm, skate, skating, thin, thin ice, warning
“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

3 weeks ago

attitude, casual, good, humor, know, man, music, music taste, playlist, relaxed, relaxed attitude, sounds, taste
Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

1 month ago

activity, baseball, broke, fight, game, humor, i, joke, sports, unexpected, yesterday
Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

4 weeks ago

adventure, Friday, fun, hello, humor, matter, money, taxi, weekend
A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

1 month ago

communication, date, girl, going, humor, just, know, marry, relationship, say, something

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

(flirting) You’ll be the death of me.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

60 shares on X this month:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

11 shares on Discord this month:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

12 shares on X this month:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

My life is a movie, and it has a 47% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Just landed via X:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Shared recently on YouTube:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Trending via Slack:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨