Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

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Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

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If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

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The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

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I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

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I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

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My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

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He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

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I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

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Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

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Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.