Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Oh, the disappointment of waking up from a cozy snooze only to find yourself in a less-than-impressive situation 🐻😂 Seriously, could they not have sprung for something a bit more exciting? #HibernationRegrets

came, disappointment, expectation, hibernation, humor, i, seriously, surprise, winter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I used to have a great future in my past.

4 weeks ago

future, great, humor, humorist, i, irony, past, reflection, retrospective, used
Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

4 weeks ago

circle, clever, dating, flirting, humor, humorous, humorous remark, i, joke, over, playful, remark, sarcasm, teasing, witty
Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

4 weeks ago

applying, applying for job, babe, cry, crying, date, frustration, humor, i, Indeed, job, job search, jobs, me, over, relationship, search, start, watch
Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

4 weeks ago

chores, clean, cook, daily, daily task, decision, decision making, grocery, humor, humor quote, i, laziness, making, okay, procrastination, reading, shopping, task
Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

1 month ago

activity, biting, chew, dude, fun, night, pull, tonight, want
The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

1 month ago

diet, fitness, gain, humor, i, joke, self-deprecation, thing, weight, year

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

13 shares on X this month:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

72 shares on Slack this month:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Just landed via Instagram:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Trending via Instagram:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Just landed via Twitch:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It seems really unfair that my future depends on me.

Spotted on Discord:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Seen just now on Threads:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Keep the laugh going 😂

I used to have a great future in my past.

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨