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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Just landed via WeChat:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Just landed via Facebook:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Spotted on Slack:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Making waves on YouTube:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Humorous text expressing surprise after hibernation, playful and witty in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the disappointment of waking up from a cozy snooze only to find yourself in a less-than-impressive situation 🐻😂 Seriously, could they not have sprung for something a bit more exciting? #HibernationRegrets

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on X this month:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

21 shares on Discord this month:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,765

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Showing my barber a Rorschach test, and he gives me his mother’s haircut.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Just shared via Twitch:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Just landed via Reddit:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Going bananas on Facebook:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Going viral on Discord:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

Just landed via Telegram:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

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