Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?