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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Shared recently on Discord:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Just shared via Telegram:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Spotted on Discord:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Just landed via Discord:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the art of bin-side diplomacy, where friendships were forged over #2 pencils and wood shavings! ✏️🗑️😄

bin, humor, joke, link-up, pencil, pencils, sharpening, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

0

2 months ago

around, dopamine, feel, feeling, frustration, girl, here, high, humor
Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

0

2 months ago

attraction, dating, dynamics, flirt, handsome, harassment, humor, perception, relationship, social, social dynamics, ugly
Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

0

5 hours ago

car, car key, cutting, joke, key, keys, restaurant, roadhouse, steak, substitute, Texas, Texas Roadhouse, utensil, utensil substitute
Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

0

5 months ago

bored, boredom, communication, getting, humor, just, luggage, message, suitcase, text, travel
Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

0

2 months ago

4, am, deprivation, exaggeration, humor, insomnia, late, late night, next, night, ruined, schedule, sleep, sleep deprivation, sleep schedule, stay, tiredness
Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, always, breathe, drink, hear, humor, i, needs, revive, sarcasm, want, wine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Discord this month:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Spotted on Threads:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Going viral on Slack:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Spotted on Twitch:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Trending via Threads:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Live now on Facebook:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Spotted on Messenger:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Just landed via Reddit:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨