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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,887

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Going viral on Pinterest:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Spotted on Telegram:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Spotted on Messenger:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the art of bin-side diplomacy, where friendships were forged over #2 pencils and wood shavings! ✏️🗑️😄

bin, humor, joke, link-up, pencil, pencils, sharpening, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

1 month ago
comedy, disorderly, drunk, fun, humor, pairing, relationship, together
Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

1 month ago
alarm, before, else, favorite, humor, matters, Metallica, minutes, music, nothing, procrastination, sleep, song
Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

20 hours ago
adolescence, change, experience, growth, hair, humor, puberty
Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

1 month ago
afford, area, gluten, humor, i, interpersonal, irony, lactose, relationships, self-deprecation, tolerances, well
Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

1 month ago
disappearance, domestic, domestic life, ever, house, humor, idea, life, messy, messy house, police, signs, signs of struggle, struggle
Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

1 month ago
attitude, everyone, good, humor, mood, morning, morning mood, nerf, sarcasm

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Making waves on Twitch:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Spotted on Facebook:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Spotted on Facebook:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Making waves on Slack:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Trending via YouTube:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

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Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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