Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,910

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Trending via Twitch:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Breaking via Twitch:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Just landed via Reddit:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Move over, Audrey Hepburn! This modern queen knows how to rock style and fries simultaneously 🍟👑 #FashionablyHungry"

eating, face, food, french, french fry, fry, grace, humor, personality, style

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

0

2 months ago

awful, fitness, healthy, humor, i, irony, walk, walking, zomby
I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

0

1 month ago

curse, date, dating, humor, i, love, relationship, superstition
You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

0

1 month ago

cry, crypto, finance, humor, investment, joke, pun, spell, wordplay
My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

0

2 months ago

frustration, gift, holiday, humor, husband, i, marriage, me, pissed, prank, put, remote, tree, under
My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

0

2 weeks ago

climate, forever, gone, humor, keys, life, lost, lost keys, misfortune, name, new, new life, new name, relocation, snow, start, time, under, warmer, warmer climate
Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

0

1 month ago

absurdity, eat, fear, grok, humor, imagination, just, me, monsters, something, sounds, try

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on YouTube this month:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

62 shares on Threads this month:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

62 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

18 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Spotted on Reddit:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Making waves on Facebook:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Breaking via Twitch:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Making waves on WeChat:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Breaking via YouTube:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Spotted on X:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨