Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’
  • She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.
  • If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.
  • Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.
  • I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.
  • A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.