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I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

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Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

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Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

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If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

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Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

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Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.