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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,948

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Just shared via WeChat:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Breaking via TikTok:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Trending via Messenger:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Going viral on Reddit:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Mother Nature was sculpting, she really hit 'bottom' with a masterpiece! 🍑😂🌲💦

art, beauty, body, butt, human, human butt, humor, natural, natural beauty, nature, sometimes, tree, trees, waterfall

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

0

4 weeks ago

frustration, movie, pain, subtitle, subtitles, syncing, watching
Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

0

2 months ago

activity, dollars, gambling, getting, humor, money, nothing, risk, something, something for nothing, spending, trying
People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, boredom, cynicism, heart, humor, humor quote, i, know, least, people, sarcasm, say, stuff, think, true, war, well, work, WWIII
I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

0

2 months ago

buy, cooking, cookware, handles, hot, hotter, humor, i, irony, kitchen, kitchen humor, pot
Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad news, eating, food, good, good news, humor, i, news, pizza, repetition, slice, times
Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

0

2 months ago

after, algorithm, comparison, dad, enjoy, excess, family, fridge, humor, loving, oranges, Pinterest, seeing, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Facebook this month:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

36 shares on Discord this month:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m running out of people I like.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Going bananas on Slack:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Making waves on X:

Alexa, mute my children.

Just shared via YouTube:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Just shared via TikTok:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Just shared via Instagram:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Trending via Messenger:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Trending via Reddit:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨