Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Making waves on Twitch:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Live now on Slack:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Going viral on Slack:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Achieved 'Bugs to Buddha' status in record time! 🧘‍♂️🖥️💡"

code, debug, development, enlightenment, humor, programming, software, software development, sometimes, staring

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, entertainment, frustration, humor, lot, movie, pain, patience, social, someone, talking, watching
If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

0

3 months ago

awkward, contact, crush, ever, eye, eye contact, humor, i, imagination, interaction, just, know, much, social, social interaction, too
I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

0

2 months ago

cooking, dinner, fan, favorite, favorite sound, humor, husband, i, kitchen, making, oven, pretty, range, relationship, sound, start, sure, turning
Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

0

2 months ago

am, best, best friend, friend, friends, fun, humor, i, insane, relatable, run
20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

0

2 months ago

20s, 40s, adulthood, age, changes, drinking, even, forty, fridge, hangover, humor, life, life changes, open, sunglasses, twenty
It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

0

4 months ago

communication, Epstein, exaggeration, file, frustration, humor, lie, need

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

75 shares on Instagram this month:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Trending via Pinterest:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Seen just now on Slack:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Shared recently on Reddit:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Seen just now on Discord:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨