Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Whoops, hope my tardiness didn't launch any major concerns! 🤦‍♂️ Next time, I'll stick to the traditional 'running late' excuse instead of aiming for a grand entrance! 🏰💥"

cat, catapult, excuse, humor, late, malfunction, pet, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

2 months ago

anticipation, bed, claus, democracy, left, morning, results, wait, watch
Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

2 months ago

assteroid, hemorrhoid, humor, joke, medical, medical humor, medical joke, play, play on words, pun, why, wordplay, words
Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

2 months ago

ask, exercise, fitness, humor, me, most, people, question, questions, sarcasm, shoulder, shoulder workout, shrug, workout
Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

4 weeks ago

baptist, biblical, biblical figure, cartoon, cartoon character, character, figure, humor, John, John the Baptist, just, middle, middle name, name, pooh, same, winnie, Winnie the Pooh, wordplay
There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

1 month ago

bathroom, bed, being, comfort, comfy, frustration, hate, i, inconvenience, night, nothing, pee, sleep
“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

6 months ago

attitude, bit, everything, humor, joke, little, me, sarcasm, unfortunately, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

14 shares on Slack this month:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Seen just now on Threads:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Seen just now on Slack:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Trending via Discord:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Just landed via Instagram:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Trending via YouTube:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨