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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Making waves on Twitch:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Trending via Messenger:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Making waves on Slack:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Shared recently on X:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Freshly posted on Slack:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Making waves on Telegram:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about family bonding and observing humorous generational patterns.

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Commentary:
Trying to figure out if I inherited my stubbornness or if it's a family heirloom 🤔😂👵📜

day, day out, family, generation, grandmother, humor, just, mom, observation, observing, pattern, spending

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Sane is boring.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Seen just now on Facebook:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Spotted on Discord:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Shared recently on Discord:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Trending via Pinterest:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Spotted on Snapchat:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Seen just now on Slack:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Just shared via YouTube:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨