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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Jan 5, 2026

3,561

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Live now on Slack:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Going bananas on Discord:

I only drink when I people.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Spotted on X:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Just landed via WeChat:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

2 months ago

0

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a boring old mug when you can feel like a secret agent with your coffee flask? 🕵️‍♂️ Just imagine the envy of your coworkers as they gaze upon your sleek accessory. 🤩 Channel your inner James Bond and sip your way to productivity! ☕️💼 #coffeeupgrade"

activity, coffee, day, drink, drinking, flask, fun, fun activity, humor, productivity, spice, spice up, work, work day

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, conversation, escape, everyone, humor, i, interaction, jealousy, planning, relationship, silence, social, social interaction, stand, while
I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

0

5 months ago

age, divorce, half, humor, i, marriage, milestone, relationship, should
If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

0

2 months ago

confidence, cool, ear, good, humor, interviewer, job, magic, magic trick, quarter, think, trick, workplace
My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, health, humor, iconic, mental, mental health, overthinking, personality, relatable, sarcasm, self-deprecating
Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

0

3 months ago

anyone, dating, fall, fall in love, humor, living, living together, love, me, relationship, rent, roommate, together, want
Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

0

2 months ago

crown, humor, inside, motivation, pineapple, positivity, self-confidence, stand, stand tall, sweet, tall, wear, wear crown

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Threads this month:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Breaking via Slack:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Breaking via Telegram:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Trending via Instagram:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Going viral on Instagram:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

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