Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,866

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Just landed via Instagram:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Just shared via Telegram:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Spotted on YouTube:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Making waves on TikTok:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Breaking via Facebook:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Just landed via Telegram:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

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Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”
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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'let's agree to disagree' – the diplomatic way of saying 'let's just nod and move on' 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️. A surefire strategy for avoiding those never-ending debates that make you question your life choices 🤣. Just remember, when in doubt, agree to disagree and grab some popcorn for the show! 🍿👏"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Slack this month:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope this email kills us both.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

55 shares on Threads this month:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

46 shares on Slack this month:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,892

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Going viral on WeChat:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Making waves on Discord:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Going viral on TikTok:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

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