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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

The void screams into me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

40 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Broadcasted on X:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Just shared via TikTok:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Spotted on YouTube:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Trending via Instagram:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Trending via Instagram:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Just landed via WeChat:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

6 months ago

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'let's agree to disagree' – the diplomatic way of saying 'let's just nod and move on' 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️. A surefire strategy for avoiding those never-ending debates that make you question your life choices 🤣. Just remember, when in doubt, agree to disagree and grab some popcorn for the show! 🍿👏"

agree, communication, conflict, disagree, every, humor, just, meeting, negotiation, start, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

40 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Just landed via X:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Making waves on Discord:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Reported on Slack:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Just landed via Facebook:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Going viral on Slack:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Going viral on Messenger:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Spotted on Facebook:

Happy new fear!

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

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