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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Time needs a speed limit.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote about starting meetings with a witty suggestion to disagree peacefully.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'let's agree to disagree' – the diplomatic way of saying 'let's just nod and move on' 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️. A surefire strategy for avoiding those never-ending debates that make you question your life choices 🤣. Just remember, when in doubt, agree to disagree and grab some popcorn for the show! 🍿👏"

agree, communication, conflict, disagree, every, humor, just, meeting, negotiation, start, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Live now on Telegram:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Spotted on Messenger:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Just shared via YouTube:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Making waves on Instagram:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Spotted on YouTube:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

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