Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.
  • If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.
  • We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.
  • If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?
  • My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.
  • Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.