Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"According to the latest data, it seems like guests need to step up their objection game at weddings! 🤣 Maybe we should start handing out megaphones with the programs! 🙉 #SpeakNowOrForeverHoldYourPeace"

celebration, enough, event, humor, marriage, object, people, speaking, statistic, statistically, wedding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, day, gift, Guantanamo, heart, humor, i, irony, last, next, song
My bad habits got renewed for another season.

0

2 months ago

another, bad, bad habit, comedy, habit, habits, humor, renewal, season, self-improvement
Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

0

2 months ago

another, bit, day, frustration, humor, i, irritation, just, little, moan, mosquito, neck, sex, unexpected
All I think about is death and sex.

0

4 weeks ago

dark, dark humor, death, humor, i, mind, obsession, sex, think, thought
Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

0

2 months ago

appearance, battery, dating, humor, joke, perks, phone, self-deprecation, ugly
“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

0

2 months ago

age, better, comparison, doing, follower, followers, gap, generation, generation gap, humor, media, parents, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Threads this month:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

26 shares on Discord this month:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

56 shares on Discord this month:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Making waves on Messenger:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Breaking via Twitch:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Spotted on Reddit:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Shared recently on Discord:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Seen just now on X:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

All I think about is death and sex.

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨