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Commentary:
"From touchdowns to touch-downs… 🏈💩 Who knew a Super Bowl party could lead to such a 'crappy' start to the week! 🤣🚽 #SundayFundayTurnedMondayBlues"

bowl, hangover, humor, Monday, morning, night, party, sports, Sunday, super, Super Bowl, toilet, Toilet Bowl, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, embarrassing, embarrassment, funny moment, humor, interrupt, interruption, me, moment, myself, self-deprecation, situation, social, social situation
My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

0

5 months ago

back, chair, chairs, household, humor, husband, just, laziness, magic, marriage, push, relationship
Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

0

2 months ago

buzzard, circle, exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, me, nature, run, should, worry
I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

0

2 months ago

childhood, food, great, hard, hard times, humor, hyena, i, laughs, survival, times, wild
You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad day, day, going, humor, not going, office, procrastination, work
Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

0

2 months ago

eating, humor, i, joke, microplastics, packaging, satire, straight, time, waste, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Discord this month:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

42 shares on Facebook this month:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Going viral on YouTube:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Spotted on Telegram:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Spotted on WeChat:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Just landed via Discord:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨