Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because itโ€™s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on Telegram:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now itโ€™s the opposite.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Some peopleโ€™s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If this meeting were any slower, itโ€™d be a landscape painting.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I shouldnโ€™t have to go to work if itโ€™s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Spotted on WeChat:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so Iโ€™m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Shared recently on Threads:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Spotted on Facebook:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Humorous text about weekend fun turning into Monday morning regrets.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"From touchdowns to touch-downs… ๐Ÿˆ๐Ÿ’ฉ Who knew a Super Bowl party could lead to such a 'crappy' start to the week! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿšฝ #SundayFundayTurnedMondayBlues"

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
โœจ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

57 shares on X this month:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

15 shares on WeChat this month:

โ€œOoh, youโ€™ve caught the sun.โ€ Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Iโ€™m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

75 shares on Discord this month:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

62 shares on X this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Whoโ€™s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,512

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Elliott didnโ€™t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has downloaded:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Discord:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Live now on Twitch:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people theyโ€™re introverts.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

โ€œYou donโ€™t load the dishwasher right,โ€ I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. Theyโ€™re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Making waves on Threads:

โ€œBaby on boardโ€ Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just donโ€™t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Excited for my husband to get back from his trip, so I can sit him down for a little presentation of all the internet videos I saved for him to watch.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with โค๏ธ in Sydney โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒด