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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,873

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Just landed via Slack:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Going viral on WeChat:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Going viral on WeChat:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Going viral on YouTube:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Just landed via X:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

2 months ago

0

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the lyrical struggles of our pre-internet era! 🎶😱 Back then, misheard lyrics were a way of life, and we jammed out to songs with our own unique interpretations. Oh, the horror when we finally discovered the truth – say goodbye to our ridiculous renditions! Teens today, basking in the glory of lyrics sites, will never understand the struggle of thinking the wrong lyrics were right for years. Ah, the innocence of youth! 😂

good, humor, know, lyrics, misunderstanding, music, nostalgia, shit, sing, singing, sites, technology, teens, truth, used, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

0

2 months ago

cash, desire, dollars, fun, girls, humor, i, just, million, money, want
3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

0

4 months ago

1, 3, app, apps, concerning, drink, drinks, enough, friend, friends, health, information, mental, mental health, movie, movie theater, text, texting, theater
No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

0

2 months ago

expectation, food, french, great, humor, i, just, mean, surprise, toast
I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

0

2 months ago

expression, humor, humor expression, humor quote, i, just, laziness, relaxation, sarcasm, sit, walk
The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

0

1 month ago

attraction, before, cannibalism, funny observation, glimpse, hot, humor, intimacy, kiss, kissing, love, moment, moments, observation, people, romance, seeing
Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

0

2 months ago

cooking, cry, dinner, food, hack, humor, just, life, life hack, need, salt, tears

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

31 shares on TikTok this month:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

82 shares on Slack this month:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

64 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,851

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

How is it still this week?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Spotted on Facebook:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Trending via Threads:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Spotted on Instagram:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Spotted on X:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Spotted on Threads:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

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