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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Going bananas on Twitch:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Making waves on Telegram:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Going viral on TikTok:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Live now on Twitch:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Trending via Facebook:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Making waves on Twitch:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

0
Tested positive for needing a kiss.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the results are in and the diagnosis is clear: a severe case of "kiss deficiency"! 💋 Time to prescribe some extra hugs and smooches to treat this ailment. Who knew that the best cure for a bad day was just a simple kiss away? 😘 #DoctorLove

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,256

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Seen just now on X:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Just shared via X:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Freshly posted on Discord:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

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