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Commentary:
"Your screams are in a queue and will be answered in the order they were received. Please hold on to your sanity, it's a long wait ahead! 😈🌀 #SpookyCustomerService"

abyss, comedy, contact, customer, customer service, dark, dark comedy, existential, humor, important, scream, service, thank, thank you

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

0

2 months ago

confidence, conversation, dating, DM, flirt, humor, man, media, real, social, social media, timeline
I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

0

2 months ago

across, avoidance, barefoot, carpet, high, high school reunion, humor, i, Lego, legos, pain, reunion, school, walk
I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

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2 months ago

admiration, beloved, celebrity, celebrity fan, close, connection, doing, fan, friend, humor, i, personal, personal connection, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, today, wonder
Touch my butt, not my coffee.

0

2 months ago

boundary, butt, cheek, coffee, humor, personal, personal space, playful, space, touch
I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

0

2 months ago

ago, allergy, days, death, diagnosis, died, feeling, googled, health, humor, i, internet, joke, symptom, symptoms, well
You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

0

2 months ago

anything, book, boredom, bro, childhood, fair, feel, feelings, humor, i, me, nostalgia, scholastic, Scholastic Book Fair

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

95 shares on Discord this month:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Spotted on Discord:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Spotted on WeChat:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Spotted on Twitch:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Trending via YouTube:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

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Activity Log ✨

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨