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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

28 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Love is in the air fryer.

Going viral on X:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Just landed via Telegram:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Seen just now on Telegram:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Just shared via Threads:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Making waves on TikTok:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

6 months ago

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

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Commentary:
Ah, the symphony of kitchen mishaps! 🎶 Closing the cupboard door only to hear the crash of a falling item – a subtle reminder that sometimes life's problems are just waiting to surprise you like an unexpected guest. 😂 It's like a game of culinary Jenga in there! 🏗️ #CupboardChronicles

close, cupboard, fall, hear, humor, inside, problem, relatable, somebody, something, sound

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

28 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Just landed via Slack:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Making waves on Instagram:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Just landed via WeChat:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Trending via TikTok:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Trending via TikTok:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Trending via YouTube:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Going viral on WeChat:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

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