Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Seen just now on Threads:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Trending via TikTok:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Trending via Threads:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Trending via Messenger:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Breaking via Telegram:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Going viral on Messenger:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Just shared via Telegram:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

2 weeks ago

Witty humorous text about family vacations and funny post-trip gossip.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic post-vacation tradition of critiquing the extended family dynamics while cruising back home. 🚗💭 Nothing quite like those moments of reflection and slight eye rolls to round off the family bonding experience! 😂"

family, family vacation, home, trip, vacation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

70 shares on Discord this month:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Spotted on Twitch:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Freshly posted on X:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Making waves on TikTok:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Going viral on Reddit:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Just landed via Facebook:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Seen just now on Slack:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

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